Even my most morally unappetising characters are really Fallen Angels; I must remember a more basic truth, that we are all Great Apes.
So the main lesson I’ll take from this extract is that I should think of description in more integrated and organic terms. I should be less formulaic.
I have waited impatiently for this opportunity… and now I am alone in the house. Would it, I wonder to myself, be possible to hear it breathe?
It was like connecting two poles of a battery to the motor of a fabulous and intricate mechanism... and it burst immediately into life. It lives still.
I suspect that springing a coincidence on the reader is no better than having a summer-season Paul Daniels pulling a rabbit from a hat.
Smoke of various sorts is also, broadly, unsettling, full of foreboding, for it is the smoke, perhaps, of a forthcoming war...
It seemed possible that at any moment he might shape a definitive gesture; his hand might shoot up and he’d clutch at an essence in the empty air
Smuts of soot, like tiny feathers, black cygnet or dark eiderdown. As they fell they rocked gently. The effect was soothing. Eerie but soothing.